Still here

I am still here. I am just wallowing in self-pity and doubt about everything that is my life. I am a good parent, I know I am, but yet I have been doubting that lately. London has been going through a lot of emotional stages that are shocking me. I have slacked at validating his feelings the way that I should so I feel like I am the reason for all of this. We never get out of the house, we don’t have many friends and so when we do get out things get out of hand. We went to a friend’s house today and London kept yelling at me and my friend and he was doing things that he never does at home. This either makes me want to stay at home all of the time, or makes me feel guilty because we never get out and that must be why he is doing this stuff. It’s hard; this parenting stuff. I knew that when I started it, but each day/week throws me a curveball and makes me feel more and more defeated than before. London is gaining       his independence, I know this, but it is all happening in ways I never saw coming.

What are some curveballs you’ve been thrown as a parent? How did/do you handle it? What is your advice on helping London through this hard, emotional stage while respecting him as a person?

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One thought on “Still here

  1. (((hugs))) to you.
    Right now I mainly just wish I had more “me-time” and feel guilty for such a wish.
    That, and I’m stressed out at what these pre-teen years have in store.
    And I’m embarrassed that I wish the baby would sometimes just watch a show so I could relax.
    Hmmm, to many internalized negatives, eh?

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