Bryan has Managed to Ruin Yo’ Mama Jokes

Remember all of the old yo’ mama jokes?

“Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.”

They always started with a “Yo Mama so…..” but lately I have noticed that they have become lazier . Now they will just simply be “your mom” in a very annoying deepish voice. So if you say, “your driving to fast”, then the response would be, “your mom”
Well, Bryan goes beyond that. For example, I say, “Hey, Bryan these rolls I made are really good” Bryan replies with, “your mom’s rolls are really good” It gets worse, and sometimes too inappropriate to say here on this blog. I have yet to master this new version of your Mama jokes due to the fact that I am still stuck in the “your mom” stage of things. I am sure I will get it someday, but meanwhile, Bryan will continue to gross me out when talking about my mom that way.

Bryan’s Nightly Readings

Every family has a nightly routine. Whether or not it’s a strict routine, somehow or another there is a night-time routine. We used to just put the kids to bed when we noticed they were getting cranky but lately we have developed a great routine that works for us. I put Sidney to bed and Bryan takes care of London. He brushes his teeth, puts his night-time diaper on, and reads him a story. I am often done putting Sidney down at this point and I will be sitting on the recliner in the living room on the computer while they read their book. Sometimes it’s nothing to be eavesdropping on, but other times I sit in this chair laughing my ass off.

Before we started this routine, I was reading London his books. We would read a book called Knuffle Bunny which is about a Daddy and his little baby named Trixie. They take a trip to the laundry mat and on their way back Trixie is frantic and his/her (I still don’t know the gender of Trixie, lol) Daddy just gets frustrated and doesn’t listen to his baby. When they get home they are both frustrated and when Mommy opens the door she notices Knuffle Bunny is gone, so they all rush back to the laundry mat and look for Knuffle Bunny. They eventually find it and Trixie cries “KNUFFLE BUNNY!!!”, her first words. When I read the book I portray Trixie as a sweet innocent child who sweetly cries out in frustrating that she/he has lost Knuffle Bunny. She cries “AGGLE FLABBLE KLABBLE” in the book and I always portray that as an innocent child’s voice. When Bryan reads it, he somehow manages to portray Trixie as a 65-year-old smoking man who is close to needing a throat transplant. I can’t imagine what goes through London’s head when his innocent Trixie is suddenly an old smoker.

That’s not it though.

Last night he was reading London another book and read a whole sentence while yawning, so all I hear is,

“and then Jane, ahuhuhgueuhuhgjuejijsijuehigjijd, and was shocked”


I could not stop laughing which caused him to laugh and the whole book was read through laughter, yawns and “Stop laughing, I can’t read this book!”

These are memories that London will cherish forever.

The Dirty Deed

Really. Let’s be honest here. Sex is not a common thing in a household that is similar to mine. You have been reading my blog long enough (when I actually post something) to know what my household is like. Sex is a rare occurence. It just is. Bryan hates it and I don’t mind it, so you can see that we have some struggles here at home. In my almost 3 years of marriage I have come to terms with the fact that Bryan is pretty awful at getting me going. Often he will go a few days without being affection and then one day he is all over me, that is how I know he wants me and it turns me off even more. Other days he will simply come home and ask if we will be having sex that night. It is a rarity that he touches me in the right places, or says the right things. I think I have come to terms with this, but that doesn’t mean that it gets me riled up.

So in one of the rare times that we do have a moment alone and I am feeling it something else always gets in the way. The moods are changing in the house and the kids can sense it. Even in their sleep, they can sense it. So once things get going and we are actually into it somebody wakes up. As an Attachment Parent I am not one that agrees with allowing my children to cry it out. I will tend to their needs because I need them to see that I am there for them and I always will be. So in this situation I am forced with a decision that I do not like. Do I let the baby cry, tell my husband to hurry up and risk upsetting him and having him tell me that I never pay attention to him, or do I say sorry honey, I have to get the baby. There is another option but I won’t go there…oh wait,  you wanna hear it? Well you can nurse and……ehem…. Well come on! You know it’s a possibility!! I hate this decision though and really if my husband can hurry up and do his thang then I am sure the baby will be just fine with waiting a moment. Hey, at least his Daddy will be slightly less grumpy.

Why do you think kids are like this? I am on a parenting board and it is a pretty unanimous thing that everyone’s child does, but why? Any stories that you wanna share?

My Life Was Never Planned Right

When I was younger and I looked into my future I always saw me being popular, having tons of friends, a great job, living in a great city, and more things that happen to very few of us. I wanted to date and fall in love, get married and travel and then have kids. I never expected that at age 22 I would be in charge of a household of 4. I never thought that I would be struggling to live as much as we are now. I am the cleaner of poop, dishes, banana on the walls, toilets, peed on seats, yogurt spills, moments of discovery that ended badly, I am a night-time manager, baker, chef, house cleaner, story-teller, actress, improve expert, chauffeur, boo boo kisser, animal handler, health expert, personal dresser, clothes folder, shift manager, teacher, manicurist, joker, and more that I can’t think of right now. I think about the life I could have had, all the people who wouldn’t be disappointed in me, all the money I would have, the places I would have seen. I look down at my baby nursing and my toddler eating a fresh bowl of berries and all of that goes away. My boys love me! They depend on me for life! I don’t put harmful things into their bodies, I breastfeed, shop mainly organic. I play with them, I bathe them, I am their manager. This all came natural to me and I would never take it away for anything else in the world. School can wait, traveling can wait, I fell in love though, and I got married. I don’t care what people think about me. This is my life and I am loving it!!

Cloth Diapering

I have always loved cloth diapers. My mom cloth diapered my sisters who are now 10, 8, and 5 and I always like picking out all of the cute little diapers. Wait, did I just say cute DIAPERS? Yeah, cloth diapers ain’t what they used to be honey. I asked my friends on my Attachment Parenting board why they chose to cloth diaper and I thought I would share some of their responses with you.

Kellie, over at Mindful Life Shop says:

The price was our original deciding factor. But, now that I’m more educated than I used to be, the thought of all the chemicals in disposables freaks me out like feet freak some people out. I can think about them being on the shelf, safe in their plastic bag but the thought of them on one of my babies makes me dizzy and nauseous. Smile But then, I’m weird and I know it.

Kyle says:

It’s easy, I love that I don’t have to run to the store for diapers when I run out. I just wash them.

It’s cheap. We’re on our third cloth diapered kid and Dominic is using some of the same diapers we used with Joe.

Sarah says:

For us it was health first:
Our eldest literally got a rash everywhere the disposable diapers touched her, cloth simply doesn’t have all of those chemicals in them.
Next was cost; we’ve save a couple of thousand dollars using cloth diapers and wipes on our two girls.
Then convenience; no more running out for a late night pack of emergency diapers, and I don’t have to plan ahead to make sure I can afford both diapers and the power bill, or whatever.

The environmental impact feels good too. It’s nice knowing that I’m NOT contributing to the billions of tons of diapers going into landfills- along with menstrual products, diapers are the most commonly thrown away items.

My husband was reluctant/unwilling to try cloth diapering, but then I found some really good AIO’s and he figured out that they can actually be easier to change than disposables, so he got on board pretty quickly.

Jessica says:

I hate the idea that my child’s poop would be sitting in a landfill after I was long gone.

I don’t want to leave that kind of impact. Laughing

Dionna at Codename: Mama wrote a few guests posts on about cloth diapering, check them out!

See, a lot of people see the health benefits of cloth diapers as well as the cuteness factor.

Often times I see people writing out things when talking about cloth diapers that I just don’t understand. I remember I would always e-mail my mom with the abbreviations and ask her what it meant. I was frightened by it all. You have to strip the diapers if they get buildup, if the poo is leaking the fit is not quite right in the legs, do you prefer covers with a diaper under it, a diaper that you just stick on the baby with no work, don’t use certain kinds of soaps on diapers, wash by themselves, and SHAKE OUT THE POOP?!?! It is scary, it really is. I wish I had this post that I am writing for all of you when I was getting into cloth diapers 😉

First, you have your basic prefolds. Do you want them to be bleached, pre stripped, organic? These are all questions to ask yourself when choosing to use prefolds.You can avoid pins altogether now with these Snappis. They work a lot like pins but no need to worry about pricking your little baby, or yourself. If you are choosing prefolds, you can’t just stop there. You need some sort of cover to go over the diaper.You can go with either a velcro closing cover, snap cover, or a basic pants version of the cover.

To go with that cover that you have you can also use fitteds. Fitteds is just a diaper that needs a cover. It is a step up from a prefold because it has snaps or velcro instead of pins or Snappis. The picture below is of a Motherease (my link feature is not working at the moment. It’s diaper that I love. My problem with these was that (and still is) Sidney is super sensitive to urine on his skin. So sensitive I thought his penis was going to fall off his rash was so bad. So that is obviously a case by case basis so you may love these! I like the Motherease diapers because they are one size meaning your baby can grow with them. There are other options out there for fitted diapers, it’s just another matter of searching around.

Then you have the pocket diap

Say you don’t want to go with the old-fashioned prefolds. This is where it get’s exciting. First we will talk about AIO’s This means All in Ones. Basically a diaper that is one piece. Easy on, easy off. Some find these harder to dry, or just too bulky on their Little babies butts, but you can find some good trim AIO’s no problem. They are really falling off the radar in popularity though due to some more options coming available.

Pocket diapers are basically a cover with a hole in it that you stuff with an absorbent  liner. These are what I use, and I love them. Why did I choose these? Well, I found some cheap diapers on ebay that were cute, and affordable. Why do I stay with pocket diapers? They are easy, they dry fast. When I want to have Sidney wear one of these overnight I simply put two liners in and they are double the absorbency. The most popular brand of pocket diapers today are the Fuzzi Bunz and Bum Genius. As you can tell these diapers are different from each other in that one is velcro and one has snaps (see pics below) Some people say that velcro rubs against their baby and causes irritation, others say that the snaps are too hard to get on their baby just right. It truly is what is right for you and your baby. The liners are different too. Typically the Fuzzi Bunz and the Bum Genius have liners that are sold with the diapers and fit that certain diaper. You have your hemp liners, your bamboo liners, your micro fiber liners and more. I use the liners that came with my diapers and they are micro fiber. I have not had any problems with them. You are not supposed to use micro fiber inserts as prefold because it will cause your baby’s skin to be way too dry, literally sucking all of the moisture out of the baby’s butt so make sure that you have something between your baby’s skin and the micro fiber. Next you have AI2’s. These are very new to me and I am not quite as knowledgeable about these as I am the others. Some say that these make it way easier to wash. You can buy only a few covers and use it several times a day while just switching out the liners. The liners (or inserts, I keep saying liners for some odd reason) have snaps on them so you just click them into the cover and only take those out when you change the baby’s diaper and reuse that cover. These are harder to come by but a lot of people make diapers and these are good finds by some work at home mama’s.

Now maybe you are wondering about sizing. I use one size diapers. This typically means that they will last you throughout your baby’s whole diapering career. I say typically because sometimes the diapers are too big for tiny babies and too small for huge toddlers. They also have them in specific sizes that are not much harder to figure out then kid’s clothing.

Washing is not even that hard at all. I use Charlie’s Soap and I love it. You do not want to use a free and clear detergent because it causes build up. Do not use dryer sheets because it can cause your diapers to be opposite of absorbent.  I wash my diapers on hot one time with soap (typically less than what the package recommends) and then on hot full cycle with no soap. Sometimes I will add vinegar to reduce smell (if there even is any) you do not want to use vinegar every time because it could eat away at the PUL liner that is in the diapers to make them waterproof. Really you just want to stick to being as all natural in your washing routine as you can. I found something that has not failed me yet and I am terrified to change it up. If your diapers are leaking then it may not be the diapers fault. This could be caused by a buildup of detergent. To “strip” your diapers of this unwanted buildup, I have been using a squirt of Dawn orignal dish soap (just a squirt) wash on HOT until you see no soap bubbles. Then add a splash of vinegar. There are a ton of resources online for troubleshooting any of  your cloth diaper issue you may encounter.

Pricing may seem rather tough to swallow in the beginning, but do the math. You spend 200 bucks (average, but it can vary) and you have diapers covered until your baby is potty trained, and they can be used on any other children that you have. I spent on average 30-60 bucks a month on diapers with London. They are great for the enviroment, and let’s face it, cloth diapers are adorable! There are so many different prints out there now and you can coordinate them with outfits! It is definitely a decision that could be hard to make as cloth diapers could mean a little more work. If your children are in daycare make sure that your daycare is OK with cloth diapers, some are not.

Good luck on your new cloth diapers and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have!

Running Around

Today was probably one of the best days I have ever had. I have been training with my friends Heather and Maria in the Couch to 5K program. I am so not a runner, in fact, I really dreaded it! This program has really got me loving running and today I love it even more! I ran the Kansas City, Missouri Trolley Run today! Total of 4.1 miles and I finished in 42 minutes! Yeah! I plan on continuing my running and possibly doing a half marathon in October. I am doing the Mother’s Day 5k coming up very soon. I think I may have an addiction, but it’s a good one!

To My Toddler

Dear London,

You are talking a whole lot lately. You have even been able to put together some great sentences! The other day you said, “Mama, there’s money in there”. You have started to play peekaboo but you instead say “pee-a-boo” in a super high-pitched voice. You say “oots” instead of oops. You call your Gma “Papa” instead of Gma. You say, “Gaggy” instead of Daddy, “gilk” instead of milk, “guice” instead of juice, “wuv goo” instead of love you, and a whole lot more.

Just the other day your Gaggy was in the bedroom jokingly calling me a poopy head because I was on the phone instead of talking to him, you came out and said “poo poo head, goo” and pointed at me. Oh how I love moments like this. You smack your friends ass, you call your mother a poo poo head and you at one point wouldn’t stop saying ass. I think that you are just an innocent bystander in all of this and maybe your Gaggy needs a stern talking to, but for now could you just not listen to him? Mmkay?


Your non poo poo head of a Mother, who loves you very much, because you say “Mama” perfectly 🙂

Lesson Learned

We are a fairly open family. We take family showers, and I don’t have an issue getting dressed in front of anyone in this house. The problem, you ask? The problem is that every time Bryan sees my sexyness he insists on give me a good ole pat on the rear. That is fine, until the children notice. The other day we were at our friend Heather’s house pretty late. Her daughter was getting ready for bed and came down the stairs clothesless. She goes to her mom and asks her for lotion and London stands at Heather’s feet too. He then glances over at Parker, looks at her rear, and gives her a pat. On the rear. She said, “Ow!” and he almost reached over and did it again before I stopped him. 

Moral of the story is, when you think they are not watching, they are.